The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!
by Hikari-Aegle
Summary: Final Fantasy composer Nobuo Uematsu has been kidnapped, and it's up the FF teams to get him back! However, to do so they'll have to pay a visit to Admirer Island, and island inhabited by dangerous and diehard fans... Chapters six AND seven up!
1. Prologue

**The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
**By Hikari 

Prologue - Island of the Fans

Hello, I'm your narrator, Fangirl number 438333. I'll be guiding you through our lovely collection of footage chronicling the events that took place just six weeks ago on the island paradise, known only as the "Admirer Island". To the average human eye it's a beautiful oval shaped jungle island with an exquisite natural white sand beach surrounding it. There are many coconut trees and upon stepping into the jungle you are surrounded by beauty. However, to the average fictional character, this island holds a much darker complexion.

Every character, be it in a game, a movie, a television show, or even a book, has at least one die-hard fan. Every character has at least one fan that attends every convention, buys all of the merchandise, and has an altar in their closet. There comes a time when these fans actually begin to fall in love with the character, and form a relationship with them, that isn't exactly real.

Only when the character in question is physically approached by such a fan, does the C.P.A (Character. Protection. Agency) step in, and send the fan to this island, where they may live, frolic, and worship to their heart's content with others such as they. Any of these fans would do anything to get their hands on their hearts greatest desire, so there is much arguing amongst them. The fans in question split into many different tribes upon arrival. To this day, no one is exactly sure how many there are.

We at Scary Fan Studios are not part of this establishment, in spite of our name, we are merely observers, studying the amazing phenomena that is the Die-hard Fan. To further investigate this amazing rare breed of fans we've decided to choose a genre and see the results of the characters themselves setting foot on the island. I'm sure you are wondering, due to the nature of the inhabitants, why any character would dare set foot on this island? Well, with the Final Fantasy series' characters the answer is simple. Their beloved composer "Nobuo Uematsu".

You see, back in the days before voice acting in the Final Fantasy series, the music and the story worked as one to keep those who were lazy readers playing the game, and thus making Squaresoft more money. Without the music, the lazy reader looses interest, and therefore half of Squaresofts money is gone. Seeing as the characters are the property of Squaresoft, there won't be any need for them to be paid any longer.

With budget cuts, they won't be.

We at Scary Fan Studios have kidnapped the composer of the music, and sent ransom notes to each of the Final Fantasy leaders.They are to gather their parties, and come to the island, without the knowledge of the C.P.A. Although they know that only some one with a deathwish would come here, they're willing to risk everything to keep their source of income. We can only hope that the natives of the island will react the way we expect them too...and something tell me, that they will indeed.

* * *

Hello all! Hikari here! I'm taking a break from my serious fics that I'm working on in an attempt to do some comedy!

My thoughts on this attempt: I am so very, very sorry.

This is a major rewrite of a lil somethin'-somethin' I found floating around my recycle bin while cleaning it out.I know Nobuo Uematsu has sincegone and started his owncompany, but he was still with Square when I wrote this, so I thought I'd just clear that up! Please review and tell me what you think of the prologue. I'll have theactualfirst chapter up as soon as I get some reviews telling me what they think about this little idea here.


	2. Enter: AVALANCHE!

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
By Hikari

Chapter One - Enter: AVALANCHE

_Hello! It's me again! Fangirl number 438333! As I've mentioned before, I'm your narrator, here to guide you through the piles of film we secretly taped of everything that happened on __Admirer_ _Island__. This is the first tape of the footage. I hope you enjoy it _

_

* * *

_

The sky above Admirer Island was bright blue and crystal clear. The air smelled of salt water and the sun shone brightly, the reflection of its rays dancing in the waves that lapped over the white sandy beach. The only sounds one would hear should they be standing on the beach, were waves, wind, and the calls of seagulls. It gave off a feeling of peaceful solitude to those who would seek it, but anyone who knew the island knew that solitude here was impossible.

The tranquil winds of the beach suddenly grew violent and disrupted, and the loud chopping of what sounded like a helicopter replaced the seagull calls. Sure enough, a helicopter with its black steel glinting in the sunlight, raced forward, slowing down in mid-air as it reached the deserted beach. The stronger winds created by the helicopter send sand flying everywhere, and ripple into the water below. The leaves on the trees blew wildly around, and a coconut or two was dislodged and sent flying.

A black rope-ladder was thrown over the side, and a tall figure with spiky blonde hair began climbing down it, releasing the cord once he was safely on the ground. Cloud Strife held up his hand to his eyes to shield his face form the sand and sun, and looked up just in time to see a woman with long dark hair follow him. One by one the AVALANCHE members of Final Fantasy VII climbed, except for the last two. The lion like creature Red XIII and the robot cat Cait Sith who was sitting on his back jumped down and landed gracefully near the others. Finally a man with long silver hair jumped down, following the others. The helicopter pulled away lifting the rope-ladder up with it.

For a few moments no one spoke, watching their only chance of getting off of this island become a tiny speck in the distance. Then a violent cry interrupted their reconsideration of the situation.

"AIIIEEEE!"

The shrill shriek caused every one of them to whirl around with their weapons brandished. Nothing jumped out to attack them, rather the sound of some one running away as fast as their legs would take them.

"We're all going to die aren't we?" Cait Sith clasped his paws to his ears, pulling them down as his face took on an expression of utter despair. Materia Hunter/Ninja Yuffie kicked a pile of sand into Cait's face causing him to go spluttering.

"Get a grip Reeve!" She rolled her eyes placing her hands on her hips. "It's not like you're even here! Personally I think they shoulda made **YOU** come too! In person!"

"Indeed." The silver-haired Sephiroth spoke up, lowering his sword. "I see no reason why I should be here. I'm not part of AVALANCHE at all." He frowned.

"Please." Cloud turned to face him. "Your fan base is bigger then all of ours combined. I may hate your guts, but even I feel sorry for you being stuck here." Sephiroth frowned. This was going to be a long trip, especially if Cloud was going to be this irritating the entire time.

"It's not like we're stuck here for good you know." Tifa said quickly, her expression slightly worried. "Once we find Mr. Uematsu, we get to leave immediately. That's what the letter said right?"

"Yeah, a real fucking cake-walk that's gonna be." Cid drove the bottom of his spear into the sand and pulled out his lighter, taking a long draft from a cigarette.

"I don't think we shoulda come here in the firs' place!" Barret grunted. "I ain't got a good feelin' about this that's fer sure."

"May I suggest that we get moving?" Red spoke up, his tail swishing back and forth in agitation. "The sooner with find Mr. Uematsu, the sooner we can leave"  
"Red's right." Aeris nodded, her grip on her staff tightening. "Talking about it won't do us any good; we're already here so we might as well get going."

Vincent as per usual, remained silent, observing the area around them for any sign of attack that might be coming as the conversation went on around him. However, at Aeris' agreement of Red's suggestion he spoke up, his voice calm and collected as usual. "Where exactly are we meant to go?" He walked up to the leader. "Did the letter say anything Cloud?"

Cloud, wondering how on earth Vincent could stay in that heavy cloak of his in this heat, answered him with a sigh. "It just said he's in the C.P.A HQ on the island. It's supposed to guarantee that once we get there we'll be safe from...them." He turned his head to look into the jungle.

Yuffie groaned loudly. "But that's all the way in the center of the jungle!" She squeezed her eyes shut. "We're never make it all the way there!" "Well we have to." Cloud said with a determined look in his face. He turned around to face the dark jungle that lay before them.

"Let's mosey."

* * *

Yay! I got one whole review for the last chapter! Thanks for that! I thought I'd stick this next chapter up anyway! Hmm...It's an author's note; I suppose I should say something deep and meaningful right about now. 

Hmm...

**_w00tness! XD!_**

sigh Gotta love me when I'm hyper!


	3. Enter: The Orphanage Gang!

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
By Hikari 

Chapter Two - Enter the Orphanage Gang...and Rinoa

* * *

_Hello everyone! As you probably already know, I am Fangirl number 438333! When we looked at the last tape, we saw how the cast of Final Fantasy VII came to arrive Admirer Island! Well now the second tape of footage has been copied, narrated, and cut to avoid a lawsuit! Please enjoy!_

* * *

Squall Leonhart was somewhat sulkier than usual. After gathering his team and debriefing them on the situation, they'd all been loaded onto a ship not unlike the one he'd ridden on his way to Dollet. Everyone was seated, to lost in their own thoughts to say much of anything. Earlier Selphie had been so hysterical they'd had to give her a light sedative, and now she was leaning against Irvine's shoulder, mumbling incoherently. Other than that there was a silence for which Squall was grateful. It gave his head room to think. Everything had happened so fast, he needed the time to catch up...

_"Would Squall Leonhart please come to the Headmaster's office immediatly?" _

_Squall looked at the intercom with such a loathing he was sure he'd nearly shorted the damn thing out. With a sigh he stood up from the cafeteria table, leaving his untouched hotdog for the ravenous students to fight over, which they did as soon as he'd left the table._

_Upon reaching Cid's office, Squall was surprised to find his team already there, and also to his astonishment, Seifer. Judging by the confused expressions on everyone's faces, he was fairly certain they had no idea what was going on either._

_"Squall." Cid got up from his desk, his expression grim. Squall noticed he was carrying a large envelope in one of his hands. "Who died?" He asked, crossing his arms. "Hopefully it won't come to that." Cid shook his head. "Please, Squall. Read this."  
Squall frowned in confusion and took the envelope out of Cid's hand, taking a quick look around at the others before turning his attention to the envelope. He opened it and started reading aloud._

**To: Squall Leonhart - Level A SeeD - Balamb Garden  
From: Fanboy #632766**

**Squall Leonhart,**

**This is not a prank.**

**We at Scary Fan Studios have gain custody over beloved composer Nobuo Uematsu. I'm sure Mr. Uematsu would be pleased if you and the rest of the cast of Final Fantasy VIII would come and rescue him. He is located on a remote island which I'm sure you have heard of. Admirer Island. You will find Mr. Uematsu in the center of the island,  
in the CPA Headquarters based there. I must warn you, you and your team will not be the only ones trying to find Mr. Uematsu. The casts of Final Fantasy VII, IX, and X will also be searching for him, but only the first team to find him will have amnesty from what you characters call "The Die-hard Fans".**

**This is not a prank. Any attempt to contact the C.P.A (Charater.Protection.Agency) will result in the automatic termination of Nobuo Uematsu. You have one day to get to the island, and an unlimited amount of time to find Mr. Uematsu. Good luck.**

**Sincerely,**

**Fanboy #632766**

_Squall looked up alarmed. Cid nodded somberly. "The decision whether to go our not is up to you Squall. But keep the stakes in mind." As if on que, the Balamb Garden theme song came to a halt. After several seconds, it was like a broken record, skipping occasionally. The lights flashed on and off for a few minutes before the music started up again and things returned to normal. _

_Selphie clung to Irvine's shoulder. "I'm scared!" Quistis clenched her fists, gritting her teeth in anger. "What motive could they possibly have for doing this. These people should know that without music our entire world is at risk!" Rinoa shook her head. "Squall this is bad. Admirer Island is-" "I know." Squall closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead._

_"...So, are we going or not?" Seifer asked. "What?" Squall looked up alarmed. "I could use a little excitement," Seifer said with a shrug, "and I sure as hell don't trust those blondes and their teams to get the job done. If just let them do it we'll never get our composer back"_

Rinoa crossed her arms and glared at Seifer. "Seifer. You're blonde"  
Seifer grinned. "I'm not a dumbass like them am I?" _"He's right." Squall said firmly. At the sudden silence he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "About the getting the job done thing?" A collection of "Oh's" sounded from the group, with a: "What are you saying?" from Seifer._

_Ignoring this, Squall continued. "We're the only ones we can trust to do this. I don't know about Cloud, Zidane, or Tidus, but I know we all have some kind of training, even against the Die-hards. We have to go..."_

"Squall?" Squall snapped out of his reverie to find Rinoa shaking his shoulder and everyone else making sure they were loaded with weapons and supplies. "We're here." She said. Squall nodded and stood up, unsheathing his Gunblade. "Alright." He nodded. "Unless we run into some kind of trouble, it should take us three days to reach the center. Xu's placed devices on our weapons that protect us from the Die-hards."

"How do they work?" Zell asked, poking his gloves suspiciously.

"She said they remind the Die-hard Fans of something long forgotten. She called it a Social Life I think. Apparently they don't like to deal with that, so they run as fast and as far as they can"  
Quistis cracked her whip on the floor, testing it out. "Do you think it'll be strong enough to keep them away?" She asked, turning to face Squall. Squall shook his head. "I'm not sure, but they're all we've got going for us."

"Let's hope it's enough." Irvine poked Selphie who was still a little groggy.

"Alright." Squall said. "Everyone ready? We need to make it into the forest as quickly as possible. We're sitting ducks out here on the beach." As soon as he'd recieved a nod from everyone, Squall placed his hand on the switch that opened the door sending sunlight streaming in.

* * *

Hello everyone! I've updated again! Please review! Reviews help my self-esteem be they critiques or exclamations of joy! I also UPDATE if I get review!

So please. Help my self-esteem. Review.

Shadow49: No your review wasn't corny! I thought it was funny!

Until next time!


	4. Sorry for the delay!

**Fangirl 438333 here!** Our apologies for the delay in the next chapter. Some one downloaded a virus onto our computers and we lost a bit of the film under all the popups! No worries though! If out computers aren't back up within the next couple of days we'll just call everyone back and refilm everything! 

**Thanks for your patience!**


	5. Enter: The Summoner and her Guardians

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
Hikari

Fangirl #438333 here! All I have to say is: When Nine is Deleted...Go for Ten!

* * *

Cloud, Sephiroth, and the rest of Avalanche had stopped to make camp. They were in a very hilly part of the island, that also happened to be covered in jungle. Once night had fallen, Yuffie had refused to go any further in the dark, but the last thing any of them wanted was to attract the attention of the Die-hards with a flashlight. The tents had been pitched, but no one was really able to sleep...except for Barret. His snoring was the only source of sound. The man could sleep through anything. As for the rest of them, it had been Cloud's bright idea to save the trouble of carrying more than a few tents. Everyone was sleeping two to a tent, and everyone (except Barret) was pissed.

Cait Sith could barely recharge himself, as Yuffie was constantly rolling over ontop of the little robot's battery charger and unplugging him. This in turn caused Yuffie to wake up in a bitchy mood and throw it outside, forcing the cat to go out and look for it. Nanaki had was forcing himself to fight the urge to tear Barret's throat out, if only to stop the snoring. Sephiroth had an evil grin on his face, and kept sliding the Masamune in and out of it's sheath, causing Aeris to cringe every time he did it, and move her hand to herstomach. Vincent was about to shove Cid's cigarettes down his throat. Cloud had also chosen the sleeping arrangments. Needless to say, everyone was pissed at him. Well, almost everyone. Tifa was contentedly curled up beside Cloud, making sure to roll over in feigned sleep occasionally, so she could flaunt her...endowments. This was making Cloud very uncomfortable.

"Booyah!" The cry came from the woods outside, causing everyone to stop whatever bickering or flaunting they may have been doing, and freeze instantly. "I told ya we weren't lost! It's right on the map yah?"

"Shhh!" A group of voices, both male and female quieted the man.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot yah?"

"Shutup!" There were a few muffled crashing sounds, and the bushes outside began to move slightly. The members of the Final Fantasy VII crew all scrambled out of their tents, their weapons in hand with Cloud and Sephiroth leading...only to come face to face with the cast of Final Fantasy X. Lulu had her hand on Wakka's throat, one fist raised in the air. Both husband and wife were staring at them, a little shocked. Both were dirty, apparently they'd fallen down one of the hills in their bickering, and landed right in the Final Fantasy VII campsite.

"Are you two alright?" Tidus' voice called out as he slid down the side of the hill, sword in hand. "Hey!" Tidus stopped at the bottom of the hill, a wide grin on his face. "Cloud! Sephiroth! Haven't seen you guys since the RPG Heroes and Villians convention awhile ba-AHHH!" He was cut off by Yuna, Rikku, and Paine sliding down the hill after him, attempting to look cool, but only succeeding in crashing into him. All of them fell on top of Lulu and Wakka. Sephiroth and Cloud exchanged looks and turned back to the Final Fantasy X cast with raised eyebrows.

"Anyone else?" Cloud called up. "You might wanna go down slow."

Kimahri, and Auron followed, but both were saved from falling by the power of being the cool characters of Final Fantasy X. They came down at their own paces. Kimahri simply jumped, but Auron had to take his time. Being the coolest, he was forced to walk at a slow pace and look like a badass.

"So. Our stories clash." Auron said cryptically to Cloud as he arrived at the bottom.

"Not in the mood bud." Cloud waved him aside. "Go talk to Vincent about it."

Vincent and Auron quickly struck up a cool, cryptic conversation. The likes of which only they could understand. Kimahri and Nanaki automatically began speaking to eachother in Meow-mix language, the only understandable words being 'chicken' and 'liver'. Aeris cast a Curaga on the remainder of the Final Fantasy X party and the two groups began their reunion.

"Where's Seymour?" Sephiroth frowned, looking around. "I don't like him much, but I don't particularly like being the only villian here when I'm surrounded by you goody-goodies either. It makes me sick."

Tidus shrugged. "We lost him. No one really felt like looking for him."

Cloud grinned. "So, you guys here to look for Nobuo too?"

"The Gullwings are on the case!" Yuna shouted.

"She still doing that?" Tifa asked Paine as she nodded over to Yuna.

"What, acting like a ditz?" Paine questioned. "Yeah. Tidus has been trying to get her to convert back to sweet stuttering Yuna, but it isn't going so well."

"Hi Rikku!" Yuffie shouted running up to her

"Hey Yuffie!" Rikku shouted back.

"Didja bring the sugar!" Yuffie yelled questioningly.

"Wouldn't leave home without it!" Rikku yelled brandishing what looked like a five-pound bag of the stuff. Both girls immediately broke into high-pitched squeals and giggles, clapping their hands together, and starting their rounds of stealing from all of the characters. Cid didn't have a counter-part, as Rikku's father had wisely elected to stay behind and pick up his daughter and the rest of the Final Fantasy X crew in his airship later, so he went back to bed followed by Cait Sith. Barret slept through it all.

Throughout the reunion, no one noticed several glowing pairs of eyes watching them from the trees above. The spies were hidden by the jungle canopy, their voices soft and muffled.

"Final Fantasy. Chocomoogleyuffentine materia Sevenjenovashinra Nobuo Uematsu!" One of the voices said in the strange language of a certain tribe of Die-hard fans. Their real tribal name unknown, the C.P.A had only labled them: The FFVII JUNKIES.

"Cleris! Cleris!" Another voice spoke in an agreeing tone.

"Shinrakadaj Chocofarmmeteor!" A third voice snapped angrily. "Mooglemoogle snowboardsubmarinehighwind! Weaponmakomako!"

"Cloti..." The first and second voices spoke in an understanding and submissive tone.

"Cluffie!" The third voice snapped. The eyes vanished, and the group of Diehard Fans disappeared into the night.

* * *

(( Sorry it took so long I have no good excuse. The part with FF9 is on my other computer, and it's a bit screwy! I was tofar alongto rewrite it, so I'll just skipahead for a chapter!w00t! Review please!)) 


	6. The First Victim

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
Hikari 

The First Victim

* * *

"Curse those fools." Seymour Guado muttered to himself. The villian had been wandering for some time now, alone and lost on the worst possible place for a Final Fantasy character to be lost on. The jungle was pitch black, with the exception of a fire spell that Seymour was keeping lit in his hand. The was both for light, and for protection. If anything or anyone decided to jump out at him, they have a fireball in their faces before they knew what hit them. Of course, he wouldn't have ineeded/i such protection if those fools hadn't gone and left him behind. He'd only gotten a bit sick of Yuna and Tidus declaring their ever-lasting love for eachother, and had made a comment about how she was i technically /istill his wife. After a few questions from Paine and two very long explanations from both his point of view and Yuna's, the party had ditched him on purpose, leaving the Guado all on his own.

The Maester had decided that he would be the first to find Nobuo Uematsu. iHe/i would be the one protected from the wrath of the Diehard Fans. HE would be be the one to leave the island unharmed, and leave all of those fools to their fate! Well maybe he'd take Yuna. YES he would take Yuna, and make her his bride once again. Of course he'd have to cure her of her latest ditzy craze first. Yes that would have to be done...

In all his evil plotting, Seymour didn't notice the glowing eyes that were watching him from the surrounding jungle. "Yevonyevon!" A voice whispered urgently. "Animayevon!" Another said. "Templebevelle yevonyevon!" Whispered the first. Both pairs of eyes focused on Seymour and narrowed. "Seeeeyyymmmoooouuurrrr."

"AAAIIIEEEEEEE!" The loud scream of delight was Seymour's only warning. He suddenly found himself in the death-grip of the Diehard Fan. It was labled: The Glomp. "Agck!" Seymour wheezed as the Glomp threatened to crush his ribs. The fan was Glomping him from behind! He couldn't release his fire spell! "Get off!" He managed to cough out. The only response was another fangirl Glomping him from the side. Together the two tackled him to the ground, extinguishing his fire spell in the dirt. "Get off you demons!" He commanded. "Anima! Co-" He didn't get the chance to summon his Aeon, as the fans rapped him sharply upside the head with two enormous sticks knocking him unconcious. Seymour was helpless to fight off the fans as they dragged him off into the jungle.

* * *

Ahhhmmwaahahaha! Seymour is the first victim of the Diehard Fans! But don't despair Seymour fans, he'll be back...MWAHAHAA! D MWAAAAHHAAHAA-cough hack cough Ahem...anyway, thanks as always for reading! 


	7. A Late Start

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu! By Hikari 

Chapter Six - Late Start

* * *

She was over an hour late. Steiner found himself beginning to sweat inside his armor. Where was she? He'd been waiting at the Alexandrian restaurant for so long now, and from the looks and offers of free food they were giving him, he was beginning to think that the waiting staff was placing bets on just how long he would wait before admitting that he'd been stood up. Of course he knew that she would never stand him up. Perhaps she had simply gotten the time wrong? Or maybe he was holding a false hope. Maybe she was never going to come. Maybe he should just get up and go home...

"NO!" He stood up and screamed aloud, drawing the attention of several other customers who all turned to stare at him in their confusion. "I MUST persevere!" He sat back down with a steely gaze in his eye, and vowed silently to himself that he would not move from this spot until she arrived. Tonight was the night. Tonight he, Sir Adelbert Steiner, would finally propose to the lovely Captain Beatrix. He had of course told his men what he'd planned to do. As their Captain, he was concerned for their morale. After all, the Castle Guard and the Pluto Knights had been rivals since the day the late King created the Order as a joke to please his wife! However, to his relief, they'd taken the news rather well - why, each and every one of them had rolled on the floor laughing in their sheer joy of his announcement! But now...it looked as though their happiness would be cut short...

"PERSEVERE I SAID!" He shook his head shouting.  
"Steiner?" That voice! His beloved had arrived at last!

"Belo- ah...Beatrix! You have arrived!" He jumped up, smiling with glee as he rapidly stood. Unfortunately with all that armor on he accidentally knocked over the table and spilt the dozens of appetizers he'd already eaten all over the floor. Beatrix held a hand to her head and laughed. Steiner winced and hurriedly set the table upright again.

"Err..." He rubbed the back of his head embarrassed. "Beatrix, I was beginning to get worried." He coughed, trying to change the subject.

"Whatever for?" She asked as she took her seat. "I was only a few minutes late."

Steiner stared at her. "Wait..."

"You forgot the time again didn't you?" She asked, looking at the fallen plates that the restaurant staff was busily cleaning up off of the floor. Steiner blinked, suddenly realizing that their dinner had been set for eight, not seven. He smiled sheepishly.

"It appears so. My apologies."

"You were the one waiting for an hour, not me." She grinned.

"In any case..." Steiner began. "I have something I wish to ask you." He wasn't sure he could hold it in anymore, not after debating with himself for an hour of the possible outcomes of this night.

"Yes?" She looked up at him.  
"Ah." He fumbled around in his pocket for the black velvet box. "Beatrix." He took her hand and slowly started to kneel. "Will you-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

His proposal was cut off by the ear-splitting scream that rang through Alexandria. Both Beatrix and Steiner recognized the sound. From it's high-pitch and loudness it could only be one person. "Queen Garnet!" They both shouted in unison as their hands automatically went for their sword hilts. Steiner cursed mentally. The Queen was in danger. Romance would have to wait. Again. He shook his head.

"Come Beatrix! We must go to the-" He turned his head to face her, but she was already gone, running up the street towards the street. She didn't even hesitate! "She is so devoted to her duty!" He admired, and began running after her.

The doors to the Queen's chambers burst open with a terrible crashing sound. Steiner and Beatrix rushed in with their swords drawn. The first thing Steiner saw was Zidane standing next to Garnet, his hands on her shoulders. Filled with rage, he rushed forward yelling as loudly as he could. He grabbed Zidane by the neck and pinned the blonde boy to wall with his sword.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE PRINCESS YOU FOUL MONKEY!" He shouted.  
"Agck!" Zidane spluttered in surprise. "I didn't do nuthin' ya big tin man!" He shouted right back as he struggled to remove Steiner's hand from around his neck. Beatrix sheathed her sword and walked over to a pale-faced Garnet, who was shaking in uncontrollable fear. She was holding a letter in hand, and staring at it as though in some sort of trance. "My Queen?" Beatrix questioned, placed one hand on Garnet's shoulder and slowly removing the letter from her grasp. Garnet appeared to be in shock. Beatrix began reading the letter, surprisingly with no difficulty in spite of fact that there were cries of, "PRIMATE!" and "Rust bucket!" Going back and forth behind her.

"Steiner..."She said quietly, her eyes widening as she read further and further. "Put him down. He hasn't done anything"  
"What?" Steiner turned around. He dropped Zidane, sending the genome crashing to the floor. He had been holding him quite high. "Read this." Beatrix told him, handing him the letter and heading over to Garnet. Confused, Steiner took the letter and carefully read it. "BY ALEXANDER!" He shouted. "ADMIRER ISLAND!" Garnet bit her lip and nodded. "Ack..." Zidane stood up, rubbing his throat. "Sounds nice. Why are you guys so freaked?" He asked, walking back over to Garnet.

"Of course an uneducated knave like you wouldn't know." Steiner scoffed.

"Just tell me Rusty!" Zidane's tail twitched irritably. He was concerned for Garnet, and he certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with Steiner's insults. "Admirer Island." Beatrix interrupted. "It is a place of untold horror. You do of course know of the Diehard Fans Zidane?" "Ugh." Zidane shuddered. "Yeah I know 'em." He winced. "...Wait!" He shouted. "Admirer Island...THAT'S where they put them all?" His eyes widened in horror. Beatrix nodded solemnly.

"And now they've taken our composer." Garnet reminded them quietly. Apparently she'd snapped out if her trance.

"They want us to go rescue him huh?" Zidane questioned.

Garnet stood, clenching her fists. "We must."

"NO!" Steiner shouted. "Prin- ah, my Queen, it is far to dangerous for you!"

"What, you wanna just leave him there Rusty?" Zidane snapped. "The letter said all of us have to go."

"Of course not!" Steiner shook his head. "But...there must be another way!"

"Steiner. We must go. There is no other way. Mr. Uematsu is our composer, should we abandon him now when he needs us the most?" Garnet shook her head. "I for one don't intend to."

Before Steiner could protest further, Garnet turned to Beatrix. "Send a messenger to Lindblum at once. Tell Uncle Cid to send his fastest airship."

"Yes your majesty." Beatrix gave a deep nod. "First, we'll go pick up all of the others." Garnet stated the plan. "Then..." She took a deep breath. "We're all going to Admirer Island."

* * *

As an apology for my not updating for so long, you guys are getting two chapters! The next one should be up around tomorrow! Enjoy!  



	8. CPA and Diehards

The Quest for Nobuo Uematsu!  
By Hikari

* * *

At the C.P.A HQ in New York City, the head of the C.P.A's Square Enix division, Joshua West, was not having a good day. Calls from Tetsuya Nomura and Hironobu Sakaguchi had been coming in every thirty minutes all day long. Cries of, "Where the hell is my cast?" and "FF8 sequel needs to be filmed! FIND THEM!" His phone was ringing now, but he didn't really want to answer it. It wasn't as though he didn't have anyone working on the case at all. Nearly all of his Agents were working nonstop. They'd been a bit upset when their coffee break had been canceled, but they understood. They all took their jobs very seriously. All of them, including West, were furious and confused. ALL of the main Final Fantasy characters missing? How had such a theft happened right under their noses? Something was definitely out of place here. This was no ordinary Diehard kidnapping. As such, he'd decided to lead the investigation himself. He now sat at the head of a table in a room surrounded by the C.P.A's top agents.

"Alright people!" He took a sip of coffee. "If I get one more call from Nomura asking me where the hell Cloud is I'm going to shoot something. Tell me what we've got. Suspects?"

"None yet sir." An agent reported. "But we have agents in every Final Fantasy world questioning possible witnesses."

"I hope they had something useful to say."

She nodded. "The Edge Team says they have witnesses who saw the Final Fantasy VII cast gathering at Tifa's Seventh Heaven. They searched the place and talked to the kids living there. Shelke from Dirge of Cerberus was watching them. They believed she was hiding something, but when they questioned her she told us nothing conclusive except that they've been gone for at least a day. The Balamb Team reports that Headmaster Cid is being rather uncooperative. They're bringing him in for questioning. The other teams haven't arrived yet. We'll have more information in a few hours."

"Good." He nodded. "I don't think I need to tell you people this, but this is no ordinary case. Entire casts don't just vanish into thin air. Somebody saw something. I want you all to everything you legally can to find out who."

* * *

"Hey, puberty boy."

Squall actually felt his eye twitch in irritation. How many times was he going to have to tell Seifer not to call him that before it finally got through to him? "It's Squall. What do you want?"

"Why don't we have a spar. Y'know like old times?"

"The last time we sparred, we both ended up with scars on our foreheads. Besides, the noise will wake the others."

"So we go off a ways." Seifer shrugged.

Squall sighed. He knew Seifer was just bored. He was too. Watch duty was always boring, but in just a half an hour it would be Quistis' turn, and he would be able climb into his sleeping bag. Of course the prospect of Rinoa and himself sharing a tent didn't hurt either. Of course, he wouldn't tell Seifer this. All he said was, "The noise might attract the attention of the Diehards. Maybe once we've found Mr. Uematsu."

Seifer gave a loud, "Hmph!" but dropped the subject. Even he wasn't willing to risk attracting THEM. "So Squally, why don't you tell me more about these 'Diehard Fans'?" He asked as he drove his sword into the ground and leaned back against one of the enormous jungle-trees that surrounded their campsite. Squall gave him a sidelong glance. "What? You mean to tell me you don't know about them?"

"Oh I know what they are." Seifer shrugged a shoulder. "I just don't know that much about them." Squall crossed his arms and tilted his head to one side as his mind went over everything he'd ever heard about the horrible Diehards.

"Where to start?" He muttered to himself. "Well. Ever since the creation of entertainment, there have always been the fans." He shook his head. "There are currently three degrees of fans. The First degree is probably the best we can hope to have. They love us, but understand that we are untouchable, and they understand that. Then we come to a slightly more serious degree of fans. The Second degree. Those people that love us to death, collect every action figure, cd, poster, you get the idea. They might try to get an autograph, but otherwise they're harmless. Then...there is the Third Degree, more commonly known as the Diehards." A small shiver ran up his spine.

"They are the worst possible type of fan. Not only do they collect everything like those fans in the Second degree, they worship you. These are the people that have shrines in their closets. They play our games again and again. They write threatening letters to Square, demanding sequels. Ever so slowly, they become more and more reclusive. Soon the real world is only a memory, and our world is all that matters. They say their eyes begin to glow like the television and computer screens they spend so much time staring at, and that they begin speaking in strange language that none but they can understand. Soon, they grow tired of the fake reality. They want us, the characters, for themselves. That's when the C.P.A steps in." He allowed a small smile. If it weren't for them, the entire world would be like this Island by now."

"Wow." Seifer exclaimed with wide eyes. "So basically these people are nutcases. " He gestured out towards the jungle with one hand. Squall shrugged a shoulder. "Somewhat. But don't underestimate them. They're known to be incredibly smart."

Seifer rolled his eyes. "We've got these Social-Life Weapons right. They won't come near us."

"I wouldn't be to sure of that if I were you..." Squall said, his eyes looking past Seifer and into the jungle beyond, where a pair of bright yellow eyes stared at him from the darkness. He slowly drew his sword. Confused, Seifer followed Squall's line of vision and turned his head. "Holy sh-"

"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

MWHAHA! I feel so evil! Tell me, what degree of fan are you? I'm a Second Degree fan myself! 


End file.
